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Sue Greenwald is a retired pediatrician who lives in Kearney. She is also the founder of local hate group Protect Nebraska Children, a ringleader in the conspiracy-based Voter Accuracy Project, and an instrumental part of the fascist agenda being pushed by the NEGOP directly targeting LGBTQ+ children. Her reasons for hating LGBTQ+ kids are always unhinged, but nothing could prepare us for her latest substack article titled “Resisting the Woke Religion at School”.
In this article, Sue Greenwald attempts to convince her readers that “LGBTQIA2S” is a religion because gender is a “subjective belief” (Sue … no) and because the “S” at the end stands for “spirit” (Sue! No!) and therefore somehow parents can “opt out” their children from “LGBTQIA2S”, whatever the hell she means by that. Attached to her substack article were two downloads – “Lgbtqia2s Religion Opt Out” (described as “a novel approach based upon US law”) and “Faq’s Religious Exemption”.
There’s nothing we can do but mock this shit, so strap in. Here are the FAQs so you can read them yourself.
Faq’s Religious Exemption
First of all, we are going to claim gay as our religion and enjoy the protections it offers. Thanks for the idea. Love it. We have a feeling that if LGBTQIA2S+ identity *were* defined as religion and thus would enjoy the same protections, Sue would be awfully upset. And just for the record, these racist homophobes have never once included the Two Spirit designation in their bullshit arguments until they needed the “spirit” to prove their stupid “point”.
Let’s take a look at a few of their “Q”s and “A”s:
Q: You’re a fascist.
A: No, but you sound like a left-wing Communist.
Q: You can’t stop a gay student club in public school.
A: I am saying you can’t indoctrinate my child with a religion that I don’t want them to be indoctrinated with, any more than I can force your child to join Fellowship of Christian Athletes
Q: Some states, like New York, say it’s illegal if you don’t use a student’s preferred LGBTQIA2S pronouns.
A: So, you even have blasphemy laws like a religion!
These are deeply unserious people, and we hope for the sake of Greenwald’s readers that they don’t actually attempt to use these nonsense talking points in a conversation with serious adults (or children for that matter). However, now that gay is a religion, we are all in. We asked around and these are the demands of a few of our friends who have recently found religion.
You cannot make me work on Fridays. It is homophobic.
I am too gay for taxes.
Being slightly queer means I cannot be required to pay for bombs, except glitter bombs, which shall be government issued.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of the straights, sorry. If LGBTQ identity is a religion, then so is straightness, and no institution may endorse one over the other. #Don’tSayStraight
I’m gonna stand outside a middle school and give kids a copy of “The Word” (RuPaul’s Drag Race)
I’m gonna knock on your door and perform a vagina monologue.
Everyone will wear comfortable shoes from now on. My gay religion demands comfort and tits.
As long as we are talking about religion and school, did you know that Campus Life is a Christofascist organization run by Lancaster County Commissioner Matt Schulte and welcomed with open arms in every public school? If you have a kid in public school, they have both your email address and your physical address, and you have certainly gotten emails from them offering to pick up your children after school for one of their after-school indoctrination programs. Remember when Matt Schulte mailed unsolicited forms titled “Controversial Subject Opt Out Form” to public school parents to opt their children out of Sex Ed, which he called “objectionable” and “controversial”? Schulte and Campus Life also received money with the help of then-Governor Pete Ricketts and other government officials by auctioning off those stupid “serving hands” sculptures a few years ago (shoutout to artist Ian Anthony Lang who made the Spider-Man hands that some random lady called “satanic” and a “hate crime against the church” and then God herself destroyed them and the New York Post called Matt Schulte to ask why he was selling demonic sculptures. But we digress …).
Sue Greenwald is one of those people who believes that two letters (Dr.) make her the absolute authority on everything in the same way that obscenely wealthy people think that being wealthy equates to being intelligent. She is the perfect illustration of the intense and desperate need for a well-rounded liberal arts education. You can be the best rocket scientist in the universe, but if you don’t understand basic concepts in sociology, human development, psychology, philosophy, the arts, history, geography, literature … you should probably strap yourself to that fucking rocket and shoot yourself straight into the arms of your loving savior, Jesus.